Here’s my 2 cents on the “big issue” at hand. We (as a society) have made a mockery of marriage. Divorce is as prevalent in the church as out. Celebs marry and divorce as often as the rest of us redecorate the house. Calling it a “sacred covenant,” therefore becomes laughable. So since I still believe that marriage between 1 man and 1 woman is God’s design (and nowhere does the Bible call for any kind of officiating “ceremony”), take the word “marriage” away from all of us… We all have civil unions. And get out of the church. Until you are successfully married, say, 20 years (or maybe 30 or 40 or 50), the word marriage isn’t yours to use. Keep it sacred. Keep it special. Reclaim the meaningfulness of it. I’d give up MY right to have “marriage” in order to put it back in its place as a sacred, God-ordained, covenant.
What does it take to please people? Am I addicted to pleasing people?
I don’t think so. But I do not like to lose people, and I really hate for misunderstandings to burn bridges. But there are some people who insist on misunderstanding. They are looking for an excuse to drop me. Why do I fight that?
Because I do not like to lose people. No matter how tenuous a connection, the people from my past (friends, classmates, boyfriends, lovers, etc) have been in my life for a reason, and I resist letting them go. Not that I have intimate contact with them, but we remain connected by a thread, which can be tugged at any time if opportunity beckons. And I don’t mean opportunity to engage a relationship, per se, but a visit, a phone call… whatever. I am there for my friends who need me.
So, being faced today with a friend who is so angry and bitter and stubborn that he insists on quitting me… hurts.
But I have to remember… all my attempts at communication are rebuffed. HE is the one being silent and dark. He is the one who runs and hides. He is the one who dangles friendship like a string before a kitten. And makes out like *I* have been the problem all along in myriad ways. Makes me feel/sound desperate. Makes me feel/sound crazy. I am neither.
I am still here for the friendship. But I am not running after it any longer.
But I really dislike the feeling of being misunderstood. In this case, explaining things will not help. He is bound and determined to pigeon hole me as a crazy bitch, and my efforts will only confirm that in his eyes.
But I don’t like to lose people.